Polkarama!: The Last Airbender, what?
by 1000th Ghost
Summary: Aang can only defeat the Fire Lord with the help of another airbender. But, since he's the last one, he is forced to father a child so it can inherit his airbending skills. Possibly the strangest Avatar fic you will ever read. Kataang.


**Polkarama!:**

**The Last Airbender...what?!**

**By: 1000****th**** Ghost**

_Let's get it started, ha_

Lol. Okay, for the record, the author of this story, whose name (coughcough1000thGhostcoughcough) will never be mentioned, except for, like, every other verse, thinks that it is terribly amusing to start a story with "Let's get it started".

_Let's get it started in here_

So...tallyho. 1000th Ghost decided the best way to start this story would be to actually follow the stupid lyrics and start it. So...she ripped the Avatar: The Last Airbender ®™© peeps out of...um..."Avatar World".

_Let's get it started, ha_

Well, the Avatar: The Last Airbender ®™© peeps looked at her. And she looked at them. And they looked at her. And she looked at them. And they looked at her. And she looked at them.

And they said, "We're sorry; what did you want again?"

She said, "Ketchup."

And they said, "Oh, yeah, that's right. We just spaced out there for a second. We're really kind of burnt tonight."

And then they handed her the ketchup, and then she was finally driving away, and the food was driving her mad with its intoxicating bouquet. She was starving to death by the time she pulled up at the traffic light.

She said, "Baby, gimme that burger, I just gotta have a bite."

_Let's get it started in here_

1000th Ghost stopped writing/driving and wondered A: How the heck she was driving, B: Who was this "Baby" and where on earth did they come from, and C: Why did she care, since she was getting free food out of the whole deal?

So "Baby" reached in the bag and pulled out the burger, and "Baby" handed her the burger, and she picked up the burger. And then she unwrapped the paper. She bit into those buns. And she just couldn't believe it. Her teeth sank into nothing!

_Let's get it started, ha_

"Awe, man, they forgot the onions!" Sokka complained, after taking a bite out of the REALLY REALLY GOOD BURGER THAT WAS TOTALLY SUPPOSED TO BE 1000TH GHOST'S!

So 1000th Ghost was like, "AHH! That's the REALLY REALLY GOOD BURGER THAT WAS TOTALLY SUPPOSED TO BE 1000TH GHOST'S! TALKING IN THIRD PERSON IS FUN!"

Sokka, who honestly didn't care one way or the other, replied with, "Ahh! I burnt my tongue! It's too hot!"

1000th Ghost then glanced up at the lyrics and said, "Um...why is it 'Let's get it started, ha'? I always thought it was 'Let's get it started, _hot_'. Cuz that would have made _sense_, you know? Cuz like, fire is hot...and the Fire Nation has fire...and the Fire Nation is in Avatar: The Last Airbender ®™©...which is what this story is supposed to be about!"

_Let's get it started in here_

Sokka arched an eyebrow. "Uh...who are you again?"

1000th Ghost, however, was too busy ranting to hear him.

"And NOW I've gone and totally WASTED a WHOLE set of LYRICS because I was STUCK at the DRIVE-THRU!!"

_And bass keeps running, running_

1000th Ghost took a deep breath and sighed. Goodbye to Sandra Dee.

"Alright. I'm sick and tired of interrupting my own story, so I shall bego. Which is the act of being begone."

_And running, running_

"Ooh, are we back at the South Pole?" Katara exclaimed. "It's so white and snowy!"

1000th Ghost glanced around. "Crap. Totally forgot to add scenery...again." She snapped her fingers and in place of white nothingness there appeared a sorta-kinda-"Avatar World"-ish-place-thing.

_And running, running_

"I, for one, am insulted," Sokka proclaimed. "We don't live in 'Avatar World'. Our world _has_ a name, you know."

1000th Ghost gasped. "_Really_?! Ooh, tell me, tell me, tell me!"

Sokka yawned. "Nah. I don't feel like it."

1000th Ghost stamped her foot in frustration. "First you steal my burger, and now you...grr! I'm leaving!"

"Wait!" Aang exclaimed, finally speaking on page freakin' six. "If you're the all-knowing writer, and you leave, then who's gonna tell us what to do?"

"See, that's the beauty of songfics," 1000th Ghost explained. "You don't really have to decide anything for yourself because the lyrics tell you what to do. Just...read the lines and play along."

And with that, (poof!), she conveniently disappeared to her secret lair in the Bermuda Triangle where she kept her giant, big screen TV. Which was currently playing "Tell a Tub".

"CHRISTINE!" she bellowed, "MAKE THE NOISE BOX WORK!"

Christine came in and sang the ear-piercing high note at the end of "The Phantom of the Opera", and instantly the TV changed to "Whatever Was Happening in the Story".

"Bon sewer, Christine!" 1000th Ghost exclaimed, before zapping her back to Erik's lair.

_And running, running_

"Um..."

Aang, Katara, and Sokka looked around, utterly confused.

"You know, this isn't nearly as weird as some of her other stuff," Sokka said. "At least in our world, which _does _have a name, magical-ness has a tendency to happen. Being zapped into a story doesn't seem all that unusual."

"What do you mean, 'some of her other stuff'?" Katara asked.

Sokka looked around uneasily. "Me? A stalker? No way! Did I ever say I was a stalker? Why would I say I was a stalker? I'm not a stalker! STOP LOOKING AT ME!!"

"Uh...huh..."

Ignoring the hyperventilating Sokka, Aang decided to take charge.

"Okay, people. It seems that the only way to get out of this story is to get to the end of the song. Which is...only twenty-nine seconds in with three minutes and fifty-four seconds to go."

"She wrote eight pages on twenty-nine seconds?"

"We're doomed."

"Come on, guys, let's try to get this over with as soon as possible. We just have to follow the lyrics." He glanced up. "See? 'And running, running'. That seems easy enough."

So...they all started to run. Sokka conveniently got high off cactus juice and fell down unconscious.

_I say, "Don't you know?"_

"Um...don't you know?" Aang said, turning to Katara.

_You say you don't know_

"I don't know," Katara said, shrugging.

_I say, "Take me out"_

Aang blushed. "Take me out."

_I say, "You don't show"_

"You don't show, Katara," Aang said. "You don't show anything that I want you to. 'A sweet little guy like Momo'?! Why can't you actually ever show me anything other than friendship?!"

"_Don't move, time is slow"_

Katara stared. "Um...sorry? Wait...what am I sorry for again?"

Aang stepped forward and grasped her shoulders. "Don't move."

"Aang..." Katara shifted her eyes away from his. "We can't do this. The 'no premarital kissing' laws..."

"Shh..." Aang silenced her. "It doesn't matter. Time is slow. No one will see us. No one has to know."

_I say, "Take me out"_

He was so close. She couldn't stand it. "A great bender". What if...?

His eyes were too penetrating. He tightened his grip. She gasped.

"Take me out..." he whispered, sliding his arms down her back, moving in for the kill...

And then...

ZUKO ATTACKED!

_Beverly Hills_

"Gah!" Zuko exclaimed, wrenching Aang and Katara apart. "Angst! Fury! Painful childhood!"

_That's were I wanna be_

"My father hates me! I lost my honor, my dignity, my kingdom! I want it back!"

_Gimme, gimme_

"Gimme! Gimme!"

_Living in Beverly Hills_

"Living in the Fire Nation!"

_Beverly Hills_

"I was happy there! Sure, Father burnt me and Azula called me 'Zuzu'...but that happens now anyway!"

_Rolling like a celebrity_

"I was the prince! I was royalty! I was rolling like a celebrity!"

_Gimme, gimme_

"Whaa! Life sucks! I want my mommy! Wait...she's DEAD! What a rip off!"

_Living in Beverly Hills_

As Zuko continued to rant, Aang and Katara ran away and found the totally hallucinating Sokka.

_And birds go flying at the speed of sound_

"Look! CIRCLE BIRDS!!" Sokka exclaimed, pointing at the vulture-bee-thingies circling above them.

_To show you how it all began_

"Wait...this is how it all began!" Katara exclaimed. "The hallucinations, the 'circle birds', and then..."

_Birds came flying from the underground_

The "circle birds" came flying out of their earth-beehive-thing...with Toph!!

_If you could see it then you'd understand_

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!" Toph screamed, soaring above them in the clutches of a "circle bird".

"If you could see it then you'd understand!" Aang called to the blind girl, as she was carried off into the sunset.

Sokka giggled. "Toph's the quenchiest!"

_And we'll all flow on okay_

"I have to save Toph!" Aang exclaimed.

"But she's so high! There's no way you'd be able to reach her with just your staff!" Katara said.

"Then I only have one choice..."

"Aang, no!"

"I have to go into the Avatar State."

_And we'll all float on_

Aang took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and began to meditate.

"All my emotions must float away to clear the chakras."

"The _chakras_?! Aang, have you been drinking cactus juice?"

_Alright, already_

"I'm sorry, Katara," Aang said, looking at her sadly, "but I have to let you go."

Katara arched an eyebrow. "Let me go of what?"

Aang slapped his forehead in frustration. "Alright, already!"

_We'll all float on_

Then the "I-Love-Katara" thingy floated down the "blah-blah-something-Avatar" chakra, and Aang TOTALLY GLOWED IT UP!!

_Now don't you worry_

Scary-Avatar-State-Aang flew to Toph in his Scary-Avatar-State-Tornado and consploded the "circle bird".

Toph screamed bloody murder.

"Don't you worry," Scary-Avatar-State-Aang said in his Scary-Avatar-State-Voice, as he flew her back to Katara and Sokka.

_We'll all float on, alright_

"Ooh! Aang is sparkly!" Sokka exclaimed. "Pretty Aang! Pretty Aang! Sparkle rainbow sprinkle magic mountain flower tea party sunshine crystal happy-"

Toph hit him over the head with a "circle bird" carcass that Momo had been eating, and he shut up. She then dragged him away from the TOTALLY GLOWED UP Aang because...well, they've always ditched him in other episodes, so why not now?

Then Katara hugged Scary-Avatar-State-Aang and cried because...well, it's happened in other episodes, so why not now?

Scary-Avatar-State-Aang slowly turned back into Regular-Non-Avatar-State-Aang.

"Aang, please don't do that again," Katara sobbed into his shoulder. "For those who love you (coughSYMBOLISMcough), seeing you in that much rage and pain can be really scary."

Aang replied, "EWW!! STOP HUGGING ME! YOU HAVE COOTIES!"

_Feel good_

Katara stepped back, shocked. "Aang, do you feel okay?"

"Of course I feel good!" he snapped. "Why wouldn't I?"

_Feel good _

"You don't seem good," Katara persisted. "You seem..."

"WHAT?!" Aang bellowed. "Just because the ONE thing I CARE about is GONE and LIFE has no PURPOSE anymore, you think something's WRONG with me?!"

"Um..." Katara looked around uneasily. "I was going to say it looked like you were coming down with a cold. But...your thing works, too."

_Feel good_

"I HATE YOU, KATARA!" Aang screamed. "AND IT SUCKS! WHERE'S THAT STUPID GURU?"

So the emotionally wrecked Aang, the utterly oblivious Katara, the tripped out Sokka, the pointless-so-far Toph, and the sweet-little-guy-that-Aang-doesn't-want-Katara-to-think-he's like Momo climbed onto the first-time-mentioned Appa and headed off for the Guru's mountain...thing.

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?_

Halfway there...Circus-Freak-Friend-Of-Azula-Whose-Name-Escapes-Me-For-The-Moment appeared from out of a conveniently placed loophole. She took one look at the smiling-with-arms-wrapped-around-Sokka's-arm Toph and screamed.

"How could you pick _her_?! She's _blind_! And, like, twelve! Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?_

''

_Don't cha?_

"Um...who invited the crazy fire nation chick?" asked the totally-apathetic (ooh! SAT word!)-towards-Toph-and- Circus-Freak-Friend-Of-Azula-Whose-Name-Escapes-Me-For-The-Moment-and-basically-every-other-human-being-this-side-of-the-planet-Neptune Sokka.

_Don't cha?_

"No, not really."

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?_

Katara glanced up at the lyrics. "How the heck are we supposed to follow _that_? It doesn't make any sense!"

"Not that I want to agree with you because I don't because I hate your stinkin' guts," Aang began, "but I seriously can't comprehend what it means either. Does anyone know?"

Everyone except for Toph (who, being blind, couldn't read the lyric and therefore hadn't the slightest idea what was going on) and Sokka shook their heads.

"Oh, come on, people, it's _obvious_, isn't it?!" Sokka exclaimed.

Everyone continued shaking their heads.

"It says 'Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me'. And the opposite of 'raw' is 'cooked'."

Everyone got carpal neck syndrome from shaking their heads too much.

"And since someone, although I'm not sure who, lit Toph on fire, she obviously is cooked and therefore isn't raw!"

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?_

Meanwhile, back in the Bermuda Triangle, 1000th Ghost had a heart attack from laughing over that one stupid line.

"Who...lit...Toph...on...fire!" she gasped between laughing insanely.

She then called (name withheld), played the "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" song onto his answering machine, killed his gay-Mormon-pilgram-homecoming-date, and continued watching/writing/listening/what the heck _was_ she doing by this point?

_Don't cha?_

Aang yawned. "I'm getting bored of this subplot. Let's get rid of it."

Appa ate Circus-Freak-Friend-Of-Azula-Whose-Name-Escapes-Me-For-The-Moment.

"Awe, man!" Sokka exclaimed. "She was hot!"

Toph slapped him.

_Don't cha?_

"'Don't cha' what?!" Aang screamed. "We already got rid of the annoying subplot! Why are her lyrics still haunting us?!"  
"Cuz I'm still here inside Appa!" came a voice from below them.

"Ahh! Appa, hurry up and digest her!" Katara exclaimed.

"Ahh! Appa, can you eat Katara, too? The sound of her voice is making me sick."

Katara slapped him.

_Don't cha?_

Aang and Sokka were ticked that the girls kept slapping them, so they threw Momo at them.

Unfortunately, they missed, and Momo went sailing over the side of Appa, plummeting through the air.

Fortunately, Momo could fly.

Unfortunately, he crashed into a tree.

Fortunately, he wasn't hurt.

Unfortunately, he was now completely lost.

Fortunately, he found a wife, had three kids, and got a job in a button factory.

Unfortunately, one kid died, one kid joined the Brady Bunch, and one kid ran off and eloped with Circus-Freak-Friend-Of-Azula-Whose-Name-Escapes-Me-For-The-Moment.

Fortunately, he soon had ten more kids.

Unfortunately, it was Weasel Stomping Day, someone mistook him for a weasel, and he got his guts stomped right out, his weasely spine snapped in half, and his weasely skull bashed right in.

Fortunately, it was tradition-that made it okay.

Unfortunately, 1000th Ghost read ahead to the next set of lyrics, realized that they totally related PERFECTLY to the Valentine's Day episode of Hey Arnold!, and decided to midway interrupt this story and insert a completely unrelated segment.

_Somebody told me_

Nobody told him. No one knew, not even her.

_You had a boyfriend_

He didn't have the slightest idea. Who was she? Where was she? Did she miss him? Did she care? Would he ever see her again?

_Who looked like a girlfriend_

It was funny. He'd had plenty of crushes, plenty of flings, some of them actually having the courage to last a week or two. But this mysterious girl and her one night stand was somehow that closest thing he had ever had to true love.

_That I had in February of last year_

February 14th. Valentine's Day. The best and worst day of his life. The day he met her. The day he lost her.

_It's not confidential_

Why was she so secretive about it? If she really loved him, why wouldn't she just let him know?

_Well, I've got potential_

They could make it work. Regardless of what she thought, it could work. Because, even though she didn't know it, he loved her.

_A rushin', a rushin' around_

But it was took late. He couldn't go back; there was no way to tell her. All he had left to do was frantically search for the owner of the red, high-heeled sandal. His vanishing Cinderella. His Cecile.

_Hey_

"Hey! What the heck did you do that for?!" Aang exclaimed. "You just knocked us out of our own story!"

1000th Ghost sighed. "Yeah, but it was so PRETTY! WHEEEE!!"

Everyone stared at her worriedly.

"Hey Arnold! is the BEST show in the UNIVERSE and all you new POPULAR shows will NEVER stand a CHANCE against it!"

"Um...then why are you writing about us?" Katara asked.

1000th Ghost shrugged. "I have no control over my obsessions. Sue me."

Then, from inside Appa, she heard music start up.

"IF YOU PLAY 'I'LL SUE YA' I'LL KILL YOU!"

The music went silent.

"Ahem. Anyway, I sorta lost track of the plot-"

"-There was a plot?-"

"-but that doesn't matter because the lyrics are doing all the work for me."

"I remember the plot!" Aang said, glaring at Katara. "We were flying to the Guru so he could tell me how to clog my chakras again so I could stop hating Katara. Who, by the way, in my humble opinion, is the most horrible person to ever walk the face of (insert real name) 'Avatar World'."

_Hey_

"Hey! That's not supposed to happen!" 1000th Ghost complained. "You're supposed to be madly in love with Katara! Gah, did I really mess it up this much?"

Everyone would have nodded, but they were suffering from carpal neck syndrome.

1000th Ghost sighed in frustration. "I guess I better go fix it."

She snapped her fingers, and they were all in front of the Guru.

"Hello, Guru dude whose name I can't pronounce," 1000th Ghost said. "As author of this story, I demand you to A: Get these two back together, B: Never do anything that could ever result in their breakup ever again, and C: Get me some onion and banana juice cuz I REALLY REALLY WANNA TRY IT!!"

The Guru shrugged, handed her a bowl of the infamous juice, and turned to Aang.

"Adios, minions!" 1000th Ghost exclaimed, disappearing in her cloud of smoke back to her TOTALLY AWESOME secret lair.

_Hey_

"Hey! Guru dude! My life sucks! Fix it!" Aang exclaimed.

"There is no time for that! The entire world is going to be consploded by the Fire Nation in a matter of months!"

"Yeah, yeah, I already know that part."

"No, you do not understand! The Fire Nation has acquired a great weapon; there is no possible way that you could defeat it on your own!"

"What do you mean?" Aang asked.

"The only thing that can stop the weapon is a blast of air."

"But I-"

"A blast of air so powerful that one airdbender alone could not possibly generate it."

"_Hello_? Do you even _watch_ the show?!" Sokka cried. "It's called 'Avatar: The _Last_ Airbender' not 'Avatar: The-Second-to-Last -with-an-Extended-Family Airbender'!"

"I know, imbecile," the Guru continued. "Which is why Aang must have a child to pass on his airbending abilities to."

"I have to _what_?!"

_I'll take you to the candy shop_

"You heard me! Now make with the new generation of airbenders! Chop, chop!"

"But...but...don't I need a wife or something?"

The Guru sighed. "_Fine_, we'll do it the slow, ceremonial way. Go get a bride."

Aang blinked.

The Guru rolled his eyes. "You, blind girl!" he called, pointing to Toph. "Come here, you have to-"

He was interrupted as Toph shot herself in the head.

"Hmm. That leaves us in a bit of a predicament, doesn't it? Ah, well, not to worry. Hair-Loopy-Things girl! Come here, you have to-"

"_Eww_! I'm not marrying _Katara_! She has _cooties_!"

"Wow. The author really _did_ screw things up, didn't she? Well, no matter. All you have to do to cure your 'I-Hate-Katara' thingy is drink some onion and banana juice."

Aang arched an eyebrow. "This is what you say to anyone with any problem, isn't it?"

The Guru beamed. "Pretty much!"

_I'll let you lick the lollipop_

Meanwhile, back in the Bermuda Triangle, 1000th Ghost was frantically hitting her big screen TV, which currently was black with the word "CENSORED" flashing over it.

"Gah!! I forgot about this part of the stupid song! How am I supposed to write when my stupid TV is censoring everything?!"

_Go 'head, girl, don't you stop_

"Christine! Come fix my stupid TV...again!"

Christine walked in, took one look at the lyrics and flashing screen, and gasped.

"You should be ashamed of yourself! Why on earth are you writing something so obscene?"

1000th Ghost rolled her eyes. "Yeah, like you and Erik haven't-"

"Hmm...point. Erik!!"

1000th Ghost kicked the TV again as she watched Christine run away.

"Why are all the people in my obsessions pervs?"

_Keep going till you hit the spot_

1000th Ghost going until she hit the spot...on the TV.

"Yay! I fixed the-AHH!!" She covered her eyes and ran from the room screaming. "My pure, innocent eyes! I'm scarred for life!"

_Whoa!_

1000th Ghost ran into the kitchen and banged her head against the wall, trying to wipe out the PG-13 memory.

"I need some cactus juice."

_We'll take you to the candy shop_

Wedding...

_Yeah!_

Wedding...

_Boy, one taste of what we've got_

Wedding...

_Uh-huh_

Honeymoon...

_We'll have you spending all you got_

Honeymoon...

_Come on_

Honeymoon...

_Keep going till you hit the spot_

And...

_Whoa!_

Triplets!

_When the pimp's in the crib, ma_

"Aang!" Katara screamed, "Come quick! There's a pimp in the baby's crib!"

Aang came rushing in from...um...eh, for lack of ideas, let's say they're still at the Guru-mountain-place.

"What the heck's a pimp?"

"That!" Katara said, pointing to the pimp.

Aang gasped. "What do we do with it?"

_Drop it like it's hot_

"Oh..." Aang said, reading the lyrics. "That's convenient."

He then picked up the pimp and dropped it.

_Drop it like it's hot_

"But I just did!"

_Drop it like it's hot_

"Make me, stupid song lyrics!"

_When the pigs try to get at you_

"Uh-oh," Katara said, as the heard a grunting noise behind them. She slowly turned around. "WILD PIGS!!"

_Park it like it's hot_

"'Park it like it's hot'?! That doesn't make any sense!" Katara shouted. "Argh, I hate these stupid lyrics!"

"Funny, I seemed to like the last set."

_Park it like it's hot_

"Forget this!" Katara cried, as she picked up the pimp and threw it at the pigs, who quickly ran away. "I'm sick and tired of following unrelated, non sequitur (lol...LA word...CARION!), totally inappropriate lyrics! How much longer does this song last for, anyway?"

"Hmm...according to my calculations...one minute and twenty-one seconds."

Katara sighed. "Whatever. At least I don't see any way for anything to get any more non-sense-ical.

_Come, Mister DJ, song pon da replay_

"Oh, come on! They're not even in English anymore!"

_Come, Mister DJ, won't you turn the music up?_

"Who cares?" Aang asked. "It's still terribly addicting. Let's dance."

Katara crossed her arms. "What, you _still _haven't gotten enough?"

Aang shrugged. "I'm twelve. I have short-term memory loss, a limited attention span, and mind-controlling hormones. Can you blame me?"

"I don't care. I'm not dancing."

_All the gyals pon the dance floor wanting some more, what_

"Ha! The lyrics say you _do _want more!" Aang exclaimed.

Katara blushed. "Yeah...well...I'm fourteen. I have mood swings, no respect for authority, and mind-controlling hormones. Can you blame me?"

_Come, Mister DJ, won't you turn the music up?_

"Awe...look at the cute babies!" Aang cried, staring over the side of the crib.

Katara rolled her eyes. "Wow, you do have a short attention span. I guess I'll just GO over HERE since I'm OBVIOUSLY not WANTED!"

_Hey, Mister_

Aang continued to totally ignore her.

"Hey, Mister! I'm talking to you!" Katara exclaimed, grabbing his arm.

_Please, Mister DJ_

"Huh? Wha? Who are you again?"

_Tell me, if you hear me_

"Do you even hear me?"

Aang shrugged. "Yeah. Why?"

"Argh! You've been totally ignoring me throughout this whole cool-dance-music-verse!"

"_What_?! _I'm _the one who asked _you _to dance in the first place."

Katara burst into tears. "I don't care! I'm having post-pregnancy mood swings! Whaaa!!"

"Don't cry, Katara!" Aang said, wrapping his arms around her.

"B-but...everything's so...messed...UP!!" she sobbed.

"I know, I know. Things are...weird now. But I promise, I'll never let anything bad happen to you."

"Then tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"You know."

Aang buried his face in her hair. "I love you."

The babies figure since their mother was crying, it must be some sort of national crying time thingy.

"**WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!**"

_Turn the music up_

"Turn the crying down!" Sokka shouted, bursting into the room. "It's driving me crazy!" He stared at Aang and Katara, still locked in each other's arms. "And you two...get a room!"

Aang glared at him. "You know, we _were_ in a room..."

"Alright, alright. I can take a hint. I know when I'm not wanted." He glanced at the screaming triplets and then back at Aang and Katara. "I need therapy."

_She take my money_

"I need therapy, too!" 1000th Ghost exclaimed, appearing for the n-th time. "I never write PG-13 stuff! I went back on my own oath!"

"Actually, here in (coughnamelesscough) 'Avatar World' it's perfectly normal to get married at the age of twelve. I just need therapy because THE CRYING IS DRIVING ME INSANE! And what do you mean, you never write PG-13 stuff? What about the novel you're starting? Which, by the way, is currently shorter than this story."

"To address all your points: A: Getting married at twelve is the _norm_?! What the heck is your life expectancy, twenty?, B: I'm not _at _that part of the novel yet, so _don't _give it away, and anyway it's _necessary_, and it's a freakin' _dream sequence_, C: Lol...at least now people are interested..., D: How the heck would you know anyway, stalker?, and E: Wow. Is it really shorter? Gah. That's sad. Especially since I've been working on that thing for three months and this stupid thing only for two days."

_She take my money_

1000th Ghost took their money, just to keep with the lyrics.

"Hey, that's it! A dream sequence! As the official author, I hereby order this whole thing to be a dream sequence...except for the near-kiss scene at the beginning, cuz that part was cool. And the Hey Arnold! part. And the killing-the-Mormon-girl part. And the part where I ACTUALLY GOT ONION AND BANANA JUICE!! YAY!!"

Snap.

_When I'm in need_

Aang woke up.

_When I'm in need_

Katara woke up.

_Yeah, she's a trifling friend indeed_

Sokka woke up.

_Friend indeed_

Toph...wasn't dead anymore...and woke up.

_Oh, she's a gold digger_

They were all terribly confused by the floating lyrics, since the whole "by the way, you're in a songfic" thing had apparently just been a dream.

_Way over town_

They were flying on Appa...way over a town. Ooh, tie in.

_Way over town_

Yep...the town...still over it...

_That digs on me_

Aang smiled at Katara

"What?" she asked

"Oh, nothing. I just had a dream."

_Hey!_

"Hey! Dude, I'm trying to _fix_ this, not start it again!" 1000th Ghost screamed at her TV.

_Hey! _

"Hey! I have to go to bed in five minutes! Grr...I wanna finish this!"

_Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger_

So...she decided to speed things up and write only one sentence per line.

_But she ain't messing with no broke, broke_

"Hmm...what the heck is a broke?" she wondered.

_Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger_

"Is it, like, a guy on Brokeback Mountain?"

_But she ain't messing with no broke, broke_

Just for the heck of it, she made a mountain appear, named it "Brokeback Moutain", and blew it up.

_Get down, girl, go 'head, get down_

"Katara, get down!" Aang exclaimed.

_I gotta leave_

"I gotta go to bed!"

_Get down, girl, go 'head, get down_

"Giant pieces of Brokeback Mountain are zooming towards us!"

_I gotta leave_

"This is taking too long!"

_Get down, girl, go 'head, get down_

"Look out!" Aang cried, throwing himself over Katara.

_I gotta leave_

"One word lines!"

_Get down, girl, go 'head_

Aang

_But I ain't saying she's a _

and

_Gold, gold digger_

Katara

_Gold, gold digger_

kissed.

_Gold, gold digger_

Water

_Hey!_

Tribe!

**THE END**


End file.
